my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
