i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
