It's like God shit irony all over that family
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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