i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
