Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
