like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
