This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
