All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
