They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
