I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
