1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
