yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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