Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
