yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
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I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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