Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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