She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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