i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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