I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
