Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize