i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
