Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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