I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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