So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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