I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
