i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
