it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
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