Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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