take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
