I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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