We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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