'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
