I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize