u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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