Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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