plz talk dirty to me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
