dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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