I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's shark week go big or go home
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
