I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
