dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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