Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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