What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
