i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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