Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
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you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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