she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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