There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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