i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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