Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
