She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
