your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
