this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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