WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need water and some morals
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
