idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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