Can i not drive my cunt home
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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