Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
