I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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