I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
