I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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