They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
