haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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